Where’s Joe Biden?

Forget about Hunter, where’s Joe?

Biden took a long weekend at his Delaware retreat but hasn’t been seen since Saturday after a round of golf and evening Mass. The White House did not release its normal weekly guidance to reporters on Sunday so they could be prepared for the President’s movements, nor did it release a full schedule for the President on Monday, instead calling a lid before noon. Biden had a meeting bright and early at 10 a.m., but we don’t know what he did today after that. Perhaps Biden finally taught Major not to defecate on the rug or bite the help — who knows!

White House has called a lid at 11:27am, we will not see the President today.

— Pat Ward (@WardDPatrick) August 9, 2021

The move shouldn’t shock anyone familiar with the 46th President’s living habits. Since assuming office in January, Biden has spent nearly every weekend at either his Delaware home in Wilmington, his Rehoboth Beach house or Camp David. He’s living his best life, as the youth say, and doing it almost anywhere but the White House. The President says it’s ‘hard to get comfortable’ at the White House, and press secretary Jen Psaki snarked last week that Biden spends so much time in Delaware because ‘it’s his home,’ adding, ‘you like going home, right?’

A pessimistic individual may assume Biden is avoiding the public eye for more sinister reasons. The COVID-19 Delta variant is striking fear in the hearts and minds of millions of self-hating upper-middle-class Democrats like the Bidens. Ol’ Joe could be trying to socially distance given his age and prior heart condition. Or, maybe, Biden is one of the few breakthrough cases. Cockburn prays the latter isn’t true.

There’s also the possibility that our beloved leader is feeling a bit depressed at missing Barack Obama’s birthday banger at his Martha’s Vineyard estate. The former president’s bash was surrounded by drama, as he was forced to scale back the event due to the poor optics of throwing a huge soiree during the surge of the Delta variant. However, footage from the party still shows a hippie-esque Obama dancing maskless with hundreds of joyful disciples, including Oprah Winfrey and Chrissy Teigen. How awkward that must’ve been for the high-profile leaders like Speaker Nancy Pelosi who were disinvited. Cockburn has to wonder if Biden, who reportedly shares a best-friendship bracelet with Obama, also missed the cut. That could be enough for anyone to retreat to their beach castle for a few days to lick their wounds.

Whatever the reason, America should be grateful that ‘transparency’ has finally returned to the Oval Office. How refreshing!

Update: the White House press team finally released the President’s schedule for the week ahead at 7:45 p.m. ET.