Happy corporate wokewash month!

It’s June and the biggest corporations on the planet want you to know that they are celebrating gay Pride — unless you live somewhere like Saudi Arabia in which case they couldn’t care less. On their main Twitter page, Procter & Gamble have put a Pride flag in their banner and in their pinned Tweet they proudly proclaim: ‘We strive to be a champion of #LGBTQVisibility year-round, using our voice to drive acceptance, inclusion and a love for humanity.’

I guess there are no gay people in Saudi Arabia to champion, which must be why P&G’s Saudi Twitter handle has not a single rainbow flag in sight and a pinned tweet simply wishing people a blessed Ramadan.

But that is the beauty of corporate wokewashing. It allows companies like YouTube to continue to make billions of dollars from users in progressive western democracies while also respecting cultural sensitivities in places like Saudi where gays can expect to be whipped, chemically castrated and killed.

Over the years Pride has become the biggest wokewashing event on the planet. In many ways this is a testament to the success of the LGBT+ rights movement. It is now so uncontroversial to be queer that the worst corporations on the planet are summoning their courage and jumping on the bandwagon with barely a thought for their bottom line. So #BRAVE!

I’m sure the LGBT+ community are #grateful that when companies like Mercedes-Benz aren’t gassing us all to death by cheating on emissions tests, they’re changing their Twitter banner to the rainbow flag and totally not minding bum sex at all. Unless, that is, you’re in the Middle East in which case they will be gassing you to death in the most heterosexual way possible.

BMW did something similar:

Harvey Milk would be proud. Back in the 70s when gays were persecuted across the western world, companies like Unilever stayed silent. But in 2021, now that the majority of their western customer base accept and even celebrate Pride, the company is bravely celebrating right along with them. Unless of course, you’re in Saudi Arabia, where the company might just wait another 50 years.

The list goes on. On their Twitter handle Microsoft tweeted out a #PRIDE gif with a rainbow Windows logo. But on their @microsoftgulf handle, it’s less windows and more closets. There’s not a single mention of Pride month. Corporations these days really are on the right side of history.

Thank God for the British supermarket chain Sainsbury’s though who have not only changed their logo to the rainbow flag but have gone so far as to create an entire website where they break down their commitment to wokeness in numbers. They tell us that ‘5,000 colleagues attended 43 Pride events across the UK last year’ and that ‘172,000 colleagues were invited to wear an “Embrace the Difference” badge to demonstrate their support for diversity and inclusion.’ Maybe Sainsbury’s could ask their biggest shareholder Qatar how many people are currently in prison there for the crime of being gay. That might be a fun stat for their diversity and inclusion page!

Wokeyleaks is a regular column by an anonymous whistle-blower operating deep within the heart of the Social Justice Movement. To protect their identity, they will go under the code-name ‘They/Them’. Wokeyleaks is a confidential news leak organization for anyone who wishes to divulge classified information (and hilarious anecdotes) about woke culture without fear of getting canceled. To any would-be Edward Snowflakes out there: leak your woke-culture war crimes to wokeyleaks@protonmail.com. We promise to protect our sources. Or follow @wearewokeyleaks on Twitter.