Ghislaine Maxwell’s daddy issues

Cockburn has just posted bail, after some post-AA meeting cocktails got out of hand yesterday afternoon. He apologizes for the tardiness of his Friday gossip column. Hopefully the contents make up for it…

The ungrammatical WHCA

The White House Correspondents’ Association has been busy this week. Preparing for midterms, you ask? Not quite. Their members have been focusing on making the language of their by-laws gender-neutral. (They/them as a singular, etc.) Eighty-two percent of the membership voted to change the language, and it will take effect January next year. Way to go, guys. Super important.

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Tim Ryan’s nightmares

In Ohio, the internal numbers are terrible for Tim Ryan. Cockburn has heard that some Ryan staffers believe he hasn’t been sleeping. After a bad debate against J.D. Vance, the electorate is reverting to its underlying partisanship. So he’s stuck with the share of Ohio voters who will go blue no matter who…

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Like Mike?

Mormon affairs now: Cockburn’s little birds say that over in Utah, Senator Mike Lee’s internal pollster has him within the margin of error in his contest against #Resistance hero and America’s newest Democrat Evan “McMuffin“ McMullin. There are questions about how much cause for concern there is, however: other GOP pollsters think that Mike’s man is, quote, “mentally retarded.”

Lee’s fellow Utah senator Mitt Romney is thought to be quietly hoping for his colleague’s defeat: Lee has created unnecessary resentment as an incumbent with rich friends who has “sucked up millions of outside spending that could have gone to other races because he started with anemic numbers, has been boring and is afraid to hit his opponent where it hurts,” per a source. “Red state. Red year. Incumbent who has had twelve years to pile up cash. Yet he is a welfare case.”

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Ghislaine Maxwell’s daddy issues

After Ghislaine’s CBS interview this week, where she gushed about her good friend Prince Andrew, there have been further developments in her saga. John Sweeney, the journalist and host of the Hunting Ghislaine podcast, wrote a piece in the Daily Mail on Saturday titled “Did Ghislaine pimp for her father before she met Epstein?” He went on to say that “the gossip was that when Ghislaine was up at Oxford she would frequently disappear and return with beautiful, posh-but-dim slightly younger girls and take them to Headington Hill Hall to meet her father.”

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A room with a View

Cockburn hears of trouble over at The View. Producers at ABC’s flagship daytime program are panicking over the performance of new “conservative” panelist Alyssa Farah Griffin. The Trump White House alum is “boring” and “failing to generate any viral moments,” per a source close to the show. Brian Teta, the head producer, is apparently on edge as ABC execs are weighing up a total overhaul — given Whoopi Goldberg’s health challenges and Joy Behar’s age…