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Did anyone else catch the sordid humiliation porn screened on CNN Thursday? The nine-minute clip featured a MILF-cum-dominatrix who works under the name Alisyn Camerota and a promising new adult star called Jeffrey Toobin (onlyfans.com/jeffreytoobin).
It was Toobin’s first appearance on the AVN-award-winning network since his eight-month stint in a dungeon. The little-pig-boy, 61, was locked up after one of his cam-shows went awry at his other employer, a top-shelf skin mag called the New Yorker.
‘It’s been a while,’ Camerota begins. ‘It has been a while indeed,’ Toobin replies with a wry smile. Camerota then ‘recaps’ where Toobin has been for the last few months, as the two giggle to themselves.
My interview with @JeffreyToobin pic.twitter.com/OPmxut7emX
— Alisyn Camerota (@AlisynCamerota) June 10, 2021
‘In October, you were on a Zoom call with your colleagues from the New Yorker magazine. Everyone took a break for several minutes, during which time you were caught…masturbating, on camera. You were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working there…and you since then have been on leave from CNN,’ Camerota says. ‘Do I have all that right?’
‘You’ve got it all right,’ Toobin replies. ‘Sad to say.’
‘OK, so let’s start there,’ says Camerota. ‘To quote Jay Leno, “what the hell were you thinking?”‘
‘Well obviously, I wasn’t thinking very well or very much and it was something that was inexplicable to me,’ explains Toobin. ‘I think one point…I wouldn’t exactly say “in my defense” ’cause nothing is really in my defense…I didn’t think I was on the call. I didn’t think other people could see me, so-‘
‘You thought you had turned off your camera?’ asks Camerota.
‘Correct, I thought that I had turned off the Zoom call. Now, that’s not a defense,’ replied the network’s chief legal correspondent, who would know. ‘This was deeply moronic and indefensible, but, I mean…that is part of the, that is part of the story. And, you know, I have spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months in my life I can certainly…confess, trying to be a better person. I mean in therapy, trying to do some public service, working in a food bank, which I’m gonna continue to do, working on a new book about the Oklahoma City bombing, but I am trying to become the kind of person that people can trust again.’
‘I’m sure you’ve replayed that embarrassing moment over and over many times…have you ever thought about what it must have been like to have been on the receiving end of that Zoom call?’ says Camerota, turning the screws.
‘Um, well, I-I haven’t just thought about it, I’ve spoken to several of my former colleagues at the New Yorker about it,’ Toobin reveals. ‘They were shocked and appalled. I think they realized that this was not intended for them, I think they realized that this was something that I would immediately regret, as I certainly did. And it was then, it was that day that I began apologizing, and that is something that I have tried to continue to do, both publicly and privately. You know, we’ve covered a lot of political scandals and we’ve heard what I like to think of as “the politician apology”, which is “I’m sorry if you were offended”, which always sounds to me like “I’ve said the words, now get off my back.” That’s exactly what I’ve tried not to do. I mean, I have tried and I’m trying now to say how sorry I am, sincerely, enti-in-in-in all seriousness.’
‘Above all, I am sorry to my wife and to my family,’ says Toobin, turning to the camera. ‘But I’m also sorry to the people on the Zoom call, I’m sorry to my former colleagues at the New Yorker, I’m sorry to my current, fortunately still colleagues at-at CNN, and I’m sorry to the people who read my work and watched me on CNN who-who thought I was a better person than this. And so, you know, I got a lot to rebuild, but I feel very privileged and very lucky that I’m gonna be able to try to do that.’
Was that enough? Not for Camerota apparently, who was still waiting for Toobin to say his safe-word. ‘I mean, one of the ironies of this whole incident is that for decades you have covered the bad judgment and sexual proclivities of public figures and politicians, like Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer and Donald Trump and…I could go on. And so, of course it begs the question, why didn’t you have better judgment?’
‘Because I didn’t have better judgment,’ replies Toobin. ‘Because I’m a flawed human being who makes mistakes. And, um, you know, there is no defense for my conduct. The only issue is “what should be the consequences?” And the New Yorker made one decision about the consequences…CNN made a, made a different decision, fortunately, for which I’m very grateful. But I am not gonna come up here and split, like… you know, split hairs and come up with justifications or explanations. It was wrong, it was stupid and I’m trying to be a better person.’
Had your fill yet, piggy?
‘I do wanna get to what the New Yorker decision was, and the consequences,’ says Camerota, who is not done. ‘So, after you had worked there for 27 years, you were fired, they said after an internal investigation. And in an internal memo, one of the executives there said, “I am writing to share with you that our investigation regarding Jeffrey Toobin is complete, and as a result he is no longer affiliated with our company.” Do you know what else they found?’
‘I do, actually,’ says Toobin. ‘I was told, very specifically, by the people involved, that, um, they looked at my entire career at-at the New Yorker, at 27 years, and found that there had been no complaints about me, no issues, no other-thi-this was not the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was just this incident — and I was certainly relieved, though not surprised that that’s what they found, and, but yet nevertheless they made the decision to get rid of me, which, needless to say, was heartbreaking for me.’
‘So you’re saying there will be no surprises after this that will come out?’ asks Mistress Camerota.
Toobin gasps. ‘Uh, there are no surprises out there about my conduct that I am worried, that-that there is like a-there’s a skeleton that’s gonna be found…um, y-y’know I live in the world, I know social media, what-what the reactions are likely to be, I assume, I hope they will be at least mixed, but, uh, and so, people can claim what they want, but I don’t think there is any, uh, anything further that’s gonna come out.’
‘Do you think, given that, that the punishment fits the crime?’ asks Camerota.
‘You know, I-I am the worst person to ask that question,’ says Toobin, a 27-year expert in punishment. ‘I know, I mean obviously I love the New Yorker, I loved working there. I-I felt like I was a very good contributor to that magazine for a very long time, and I thought this punishment was excessive, but, look, you know, that’s why they don’t ask the criminal to be the-to be the judge of his own case. I mean I, uh, I thought it was an excessive punishment. I am incredibly grateful to CNN for taking me back. But, you know, other people are gonna weigh in about whether it was appropriate for them to get rid of me and for CNN to keep me.’
‘Other people have weighed in,’ says Camerota.
‘Yes indeed,’ says Toobin.
‘Late-night talk shows had a field day,’ says Camerota.
‘But you know what, how about two segments on Saturday Night Live about me, that’s like…anyway,’ replies Toobin.
‘How unpleasant was that?’ asks Camerota. ‘Did you see it? Did you watch it?’
‘I actually did not watch it,’ replies Toobin. ‘I-I-I…sort of read transcripts, and I guess I saw a little YouTube of it. Um, you know, I-I try…I-I’ve- one thing about all this is I’ve never thought of myse- even when I was a prosecutor, as someone who was a particular hardass, who was someone who was like, wanted to punish everyone to the maximum extent of the law, and also, y’know as a journalist, I have been aware that, y’know, not every crime deserves the death penalty. So I-I don’t think there’s a lot of hypocrisy involved in a claim for leniency on my part, but it is true that, y’know, people have fun with this, and, y’know, I’m enough a person in the world to know, y’know, that people were gonna have fun with this.’
‘Well I mean, on that note, even O.J. Simpson took a swipe at you,’ says Camerota, clearly enjoying Toobin’s squeals. ‘And, uh, y’know, I think that it could be…unpleasant to be the butt of jokes, obviously, and so I’m wondering if you think that will somehow color your legal analysis in the future?’
‘I-I, you know, I really don’t think so,’ replies Toobin. ‘You know my dad used to say something, he used to say “you can judge a person by their enemies.” And if my enemy is O.J. Simpson, that is OK with me.’
The dominatrix has posted the full nine-minute clip to her Twitter profile, with the unassuming caption ‘My interview with @JeffreyToobin.’
Cockburn has a sturdy disposition and an open mind — but even he struggled to witness such depravity on national television. Is retaining a role at CNN really worth such a public and excruciating exposure? Hopefully Mistress Camerota keeps the ball-gag in for Toobin’s next appearance, to save him a few blushes.
