Who’s ready for another Biden family memoir?

Americans are about to get what they desperately need: another book from the Biden family!

Valerie Biden Owens isn’t just the president’s little sister; she’s also the author of Growing Up Biden: A Memoir.

The book’s cover features a photo of a young Valerie and her siblings sitting on a couch with their mother. According to Amazon, the book “details Valerie’s decades-long professional career in politics, and the central role she played in her brother’s life as an insightful adviser, an ever-loyal advocate and best friend.”

The timing of the book’s release — it will hit shelves next week — is almost as terrible as Joe Biden’s recent poll numbers. Almost. Valerie is trying to cash in on her big bro’s name right as the brave journalists in the mainstream media are finally beginning to ask questions about Hunter’s shady business dealings. Most people would see such scrutiny as a reason to postpone another grift — but the Bidens are not most people. Greed conquers all for America’s First Family.

So what kind of exciting insight can we expect from Valerie? According to the New York Post, Valerie, who served as his campaign manager for decades, offers a staunch defense of one of Joe Biden’s biggest embarrassments. Writing about the plagiarism charges that sunk her brother’s first presidential campaign in 1987, Valerie laments, “To see my brother maligned on the one thing that had always been his calling card — his integrity — was devastating.” I’m not sure Neil Kinnock, the Welsh politician whose speech Joe plagiarized, would agree with Valerie’s assessment of her brother’s “integrity.”

Whether or not rehashing Joe Biden’s cringeworthy failures will translate to book success remains to be seen. But it does raise the question: how many of these Biden family memoirs must the American people endure?

The president’s family has completely saturated the market. By far the most successful author of the bunch is Joe. He has written two books, Promises to Keep: On Life and Politics and Promise Me Dad. The titles have sold less than 400,000 copies combined. Yet according to fact-checkers, these two books, along with speaking fees, are how Joe earned the lion’s share of his wealth.

In 2019, Dr. Jill Biden wrote the book Where the Light Enters: Building a Family, Discovering Myself. It sold 7,000 copies in its first week.

Hunter’s memoir Beautiful Things regaled readers with tales of his Parmesan cheese-smoking days. The businessman-turned-pipe-artist-turned-author proudly promoted his masterpiece on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and CBS Sunday Morning. Despite the fanfare, it sold only 10,000 copies in its first week.

Other than Joe’s second book, none of these memoirs have gained much traction. While I don’t understand the publishing houses’ business models (why pay exorbitant advances for mega flops?), I certainly understand the Biden family’s business model. They have been paid handsomely for churning out these duds.

Best of luck to the Bidens’ latest wordsmith Valerie. It is hard to blame her for wanting an easy pay day. Fingers crossed that the Big Guy doesn’t make Valerie give him half her advance…