Was there an ayahuasca retreat for normie Democratic pundits last weekend that Cockburn didn’t get an invitation to?
He asks because recent days have seen the proliferation of hot takes best explained by the ingestion of psychedelics. In particular, Cockburn is confused by a series of kooky suggestions as to who might make good Democratic presidential and vice-presidential candidates next time around.
In the Wall Street Journal, Douglas E. Schoen and Andrew Stein say that Joe and Kamala have become too unpopular to run again and that it might be time for a “change” candidate: a tough broad who goes by the name of Hillary Clinton. Yes, that’s right: Hillary could be back. “Given the likelihood that Democrats will lose control of Congress in 2022,” write Schoen and Stein, “we can anticipate that Mrs. Clinton will begin shortly after the midterms to position herself as an experienced candidate capable of leading Democrats on a new and more successful path, they claim, she’s serious about running.”
Schoen and Stein are surely right: the Democrats need a killer candidate if they are to stand a chance in 2024. And that is exactly what Hillary is. If Hillary is what “change” looks like, then Cockburn — someone who stands athwart history yelling “please, God, why?” — is onboard.
Meanwhile, over at the New York Times, Flathead BS-merchant Tom Friedman has an even better idea: how about Joe Biden dumps Kamala Harris and instead picks Liz Cheney as his running mate? Friedman thinks America should take a leaf out of Israel’s book. That country is now run by a once unfathomable alliance of right and left. Perhaps the same thing could work here, surmises Friedman (with the hallucinogens clearly in full flow).
On reflection, Cockburn likes the sound of this idea too. Not because it would save American democracy, but because the move — the replacement of Kamala Harris with a white, unapologetic neocon — would tear the Democratic Party in two. Less a kumbaya harmony of ultraconservative settlers and liberal Arab-Israelis, more the First Liberal Intifada. What’s not to like?
Over at the Week, Damon Linker jumps into what he is calling “a week for wildly implausible political punditry” with his own preferred ticket for 2024: Joe Biden and Maryland anti-Trump Republican Larry Hogan.
Cockburn may not be tripping, but he’s decided to get in on the fun too. A few immodest proposals to unify the nation:
The annoy-everyone ticket: Cruz-Warren 2024
The shouldn’t-you-be-in-jail ticket: Bannon-Weiner 2024
The heiresses: Trump-Clinton 2024 (Ivanka and Chelsea of course)
The NeverClintoners: Trump-Maxwell 2024
Revenge of the Veeps: Pence-Harris 2024
Cockburn welcomes readers’ suggestions for other so-insane-they-might-just-work pairings for the next election, because there’s one thing on which even the soberest commentators can agree: Biden-Harris 2024 is a non-starter.
