Hillary Clinton recently took a timeout from being a tote bag salesperson (which I guess is a close second to losing the presidency to Donald Trump) to make a comment about abortion and guns.

In a tweet earlier this week, she declared, “I’ll say it again: It shouldn't be harder to obtain an abortion than an AR-15.” She then returned to selling merchandise, which, I’ll say again, is a close second to losing to Donald Trump.

I’m here to tell Mrs. Clinton that these terms are acceptable. Abortions nationwide should be as easy as obtaining an AR-15....

Hillary Clinton recently took a timeout from being a tote bag salesperson (which I guess is a close second to losing the presidency to Donald Trump) to make a comment about abortion and guns.

In a tweet earlier this week, she declared, “I’ll say it again: It shouldn’t be harder to obtain an abortion than an AR-15.” She then returned to selling merchandise, which, I’ll say again, is a close second to losing to Donald Trump.

I’m here to tell Mrs. Clinton that these terms are acceptable. Abortions nationwide should be as easy as obtaining an AR-15. The pro-life movement should begin working on implementation immediately.

Because here’s what Hillary Clinton is really demanding from anyone who wants to have an abortion: first, a full legal federal criminal background check. Should any woman fail any part of this, including if she has a felony conviction of any kind, she’s denied the abortion. She’ll also need to present a government-issued ID and have full US citizenship.

No abortions for anyone under the legal age of 18 or 21 years old, depending on the state of residence. Any woman seeking an abortion must abide by all waiting periods in her state of residence. To seek an abortion in California, she must wait a full ten days. Any woman seeking an abortion must abide by state licensing laws where they exist. Any woman seeking an abortion in New Jersey, for example, must obtain an abortion permit prior to the procedure. This includes submitting fingerprints to the state agency. The application process can then last anywhere from 30 to 90 days, or a full 12 weeks while the baby develops.

Any woman seeking an abortion must fill out a federal application as part of the background check process. False information provided on an application, such as age, is a felony crime and punishable with jail time. Any private clinic offering abortion services cannot knowingly provide an abortion to an individual whom the clinic knows is in violation of any of these federal processes, such as having been convicted of a prior felony crime or failed background check, or legally denied an abortion permit.

A federal agency will be created that oversees all processes involving regulations and enforcement of abortion law. We can call it the Abortion To Fetus agency, or ATF. In compliance with news that credit card companies will be tracking the sales of all firearms, the same such regulations will be placed on anyone who seeks an abortion and pays for one with a credit card. This includes putting anyone who succeeds in obtaining an abortion into a federal database.

Thank you, Mrs. Clinton, for these sensible suggestions. We look forward to any other policy recommendations you might have, in between hocking your sustainable tote bags.