The Biden administration is desperate for some fresh ideas as they attempt to convince more Americans to take the COVID-19 vaccine. Between White House press secretary Jen Psaki, Dr Anthony Fauci and Dr Rochelle Walensky, we are constantly hearing about the White House’s latest creative ways to encourage people to get vaccinated.

The administration seems eager to push the notion that all of the vaccine holdouts are Trump supporters. Unfortunately for them, recent studies suggest otherwise. According to Forbes, polling analysis by Kaiser Family Foundation shows that ‘the “wait and see” group, by contrast, is more evenly divided politically — 39 percent are Democrats and 41 percent Republicans — and are slightly more likely to be black or Hispanic (22 percent black and 20 percent Hispanic, versus 5 percent and 11 percent in the “definitely not group”), though 72 percent are still between the ages of 18 and 49.’

Putting this pesky data aside, Jen Psaki proudly boasted about how the administration has run PSAs on The Deadliest Catch and works with NASCAR and Country Music TV. Somehow that fool-proof plan to reach out to the Neanderthals fell flat. Go figure.

The Biden administration’s aim was to have 70 percent of adult Americans with at least one COVID shot by July 4. They missed that goal — only 67 percent of adult Americans were partially vaccinated on that date. In the last few weeks, the admin’s efforts have crashed into the ‘vaccine impasse’: a wall of Americans unwilling to get the COVID shot yet.

The mainstream media and Biden administration has portrayed this group as homogenous. We are supposed to believe they are all dumb, irrational cranks. This couldn’t be further from the truth: there are plenty of smart Americans who have not stuck their arm out yet — and they have different reasons for doing so.

You might be waiting for a non-emergency use authorization from the CDC. Maybe you trust more traditional vaccines like the Johnson & Johnson or AstraZeneca shots, but are less keen on the mRNA versions put out by Pfizer and Moderna. You might be holding out for more data on taking the shot if you’re pregnant, or concerned about the effect it may have on your fertility. Perhaps you’ve already had COVID and don’t see the point in having more COVID injected into you — heck, even a sophisticated country like Iceland considers a certificate of previous COVID injection as equal to getting the shot. Or maybe, you just straight up don’t trust the government — could there be a more American attitude?

Yes, there are less sane reasons people haven’t got the shot yet — some involve microchips, Bill Gates and, shock, the Zionists. Yes, the guys who buy into those reasons are unlikely to ever take the vaccine voluntarily. But America doesn’t need a 100 percent vaccination rate — 70-75 would do just fine. It’s odd therefore that the Biden strategy has switched from coaxing to coercion, when there are still things they could do to get another several million more Americans to take the vaccine.

Oddly enough, government mistrust is probably the most straightforward issue to tackle. MAGA hats and minorities across the country have tuned out Biden’s Ministry of Truth and the CDC. So how can the administration regain some trust and boost vaccine rates?

First of all, the COVID czars need to stop with the empty promises. From ‘15 days to slow the spread/flatten the curve’, to the efficacy of masks, to the percentage required for herd immunity, there are several instances over the last year when these supposed experts haven’t been straight with Americans.

Even as the science showed that mask mandates and lockdowns weren’t effective, the CDC explained away their shifting expectations with the COVID carte blanche: ‘The science is constantly evolving.’ That’s ‘science’, singular. The flip-flopping and guideline-tweaking has left many citizens (plenty of whom acted in good faith at the beginning of the pandemic) angry and fatigued.

But there is a path forward! If the Biden administration really wants to incentivize this vaccine — here are some ideas.

Since the ‘unifier’-in-chief seems hellbent on pretending the only vaccine-resistant people are the ones who didn’t vote for him, let’s focus on this credulous boomer rube demo first. As a proud rube, I will try to speak on behalf of my fellow rednecks.

There are a number of conservatives who aren’t scared of getting COVID-19 but also aren’t particularly scared of getting the vaccine. To put it plainly, they are just sick of being bothered all the time.

So in the words of Monty Hall — let’s make a deal.

There have been plenty of giveaways meant to entice people into getting vaccinated: free Krispy Kreme donuts, beer, lottery tickets, Shake Shack, Dunkin’ iced coffees, joints, sports tickets. My ideas are much simpler — and cheaper!

If Dr Fauci would agree that he would go away if America reached a total vaccination rate of 70 percent — hell, make it 80 percent — I think the vaccine rates would skyrocket.

To be clear, ‘go away’ means Dr Fauci would promise to stop doing media hits forever. That’s right. If Fauci agrees to step away from the cameras and bright lights — the Sunday morning show rounds, the Morning Joe zoom hits, the Jake Tapper one-on-one interviews — I think plenty more people on the right would consider the shot.

Another idea is that liberals could stop insulting people who are skeptical of the vaccine. These barbs from progressives aren’t just hateful — they are also Totally Racist when you consider the percentage of minorities currently opting out of getting the vaccine.

When asked if he would mandate vaccines for federal employees, the President said, ‘That’s under consideration right now, but if you’re not vaccinated you’re not nearly as smart as I thought you were.’ To be fair, Joe says the smartest person he knows is The Artist Formerly Known as Hunter, so perhaps we shouldn’t take that too personally.

Joy Reid and Stephen Colbert recently said Trump’s supporters belong to a death cult. ‘I mean, the Trump following is in many ways fundamentally a cult,’ Joy said. ‘It’s a cult in every sense and now it appears to be sort of a Jim Jones era cult.’ Stephen Colbert added, ‘A death cult. That’s ultimately who where it ends. If the leader doesn’t care whether you live or die, that’s a death cult.’

These statements are particularly hypocritical, even by Joy Reid’s standards, considering how MSNBC felt about the vaccine in November. She tweeted, ‘The fact that Pfizer was not part of “Operation Warp Speed” and took no Trump government funding makes me feel better about their vaccine. Just speaking for myself, I wouldn’t go near anything that Trump or his politicized FDA had anything to do with.’

The same people who were vocally skeptical of vaccines less than a year ago are now expressing disdain for people who aren’t eager to partake in Hot Vaxx Summer. Perhaps if Joy Reid or Vice President Harris or Gov. Andrew Cuomo owned up to the fact that they bore responsibility for a portion of the current vaccine hesitancy, then that would be a step in the right direction.

Instead of whisper-shouting into a CNN town hall microphone about vaccines and a man on the moon, if Joe Biden admitted he had helped perpetuate misinformation regarding COVID-19, he might depoliticize the issue. Some unvaccinated Americans might appreciate the gesture.

While Joe is at it — if he really wants to unify the country and reach out to the ‘folks’ who didn’t vote for him, he could acknowledge the Trump administration’s success with Operation Warp Speed. He doesn’t even have to believe it, he just has to say it! Then again, ‘Thank you Trump’ may be a bridge too far for this administration. But if progressives are serious about these Fauci Ouchies, well — surely desperate times call for desperate measures. Wouldn’t such a statement be preferable to, say, threatening workers with the loss of their job if they don’t comply with an employer’s demands to get the shot?

I saved my best idea for last. The Biden administration would win over a lot more unvaccinated Trump supporters if, rather than glazed donuts or Budweiser in exchange for the shot, they offered Americans a guarantee of being left alone for an entire year. That means no restrictions or guidelines or suggestions or lockdowns or mask mandates. One year of peace for all Americans. If that promise was genuine, it might move the needle more than Olivia Rodrigo and Dr Fauci reading slobbering tweets to each other. All the people who fangirl over Fauci have taken the shot. Time to do something for the rest of us.