Dear Demi (whoever you are),

I hope this letter finds you well and that you are able to mentally center yourself in a positive and mindful way by doing whatever it is that you do, (I’m sorry but I just don’t have time to Google you what with dealing with my own groundbreakingly courageous gender non-conforming shenanigans). I cannot express just how important it is that you’ve come out as a plural. Your bravery to invite the world to dip their jaded fingers into the open wound of your vulnerability strikes such a chord with me.

I...

Dear Demi (whoever you are),

I hope this letter finds you well and that you are able to mentally center yourself in a positive and mindful way by doing whatever it is that you do, (I’m sorry but I just don’t have time to Google you what with dealing with my own groundbreakingly courageous gender non-conforming shenanigans). I cannot express just how important it is that you’ve come out as a plural. Your bravery to invite the world to dip their jaded fingers into the open wound of your vulnerability strikes such a chord with me.

I watched your video (at one point I thought I recognized you from somewhere…maybe a commercial for a cereal or something? Don’t worry, it will come to me) and let me tell you, the way in which you’ve chosen to navigate your own personal brand of chronic narcissism, with no apology or sense of self-awareness is an inspiration to non-binaries everywhere. You GO, guyrl!

Your words reflected my own journey (TW: reference to minefield) through a minefield of gender-related issues which has caused me a huge amount of (TW: acknowledgement of mental anguish) mental anguish, as I’ve struggled to find my own sense of ‘self’ (TW: detailed metaphorical depiction of me being relentlessly tossed around in a stormy ocean surrounded by the dead souls of uneducated sailors) in a boiling sea, assailed on all sides by the deafening wails emanating from the emaciated throats of bigoted zombie mariners. Yes, I have known suffering.

It takes immense fortitude to come out as a them. May I say Demi (or should we call you Themi? — something to think about there, saves time and all…), the video you uploaded to the world displayed a level of bravery even the most decorated army veteran would salute (not that any of them would because urgh white men amirite). The authenticity with which you authentically expressed your most authentic ‘selfness’, while also maintaining an awareness of the need to deny othering others and reflecting your unique experience of coming into yourself without dismissing the importance of self-reflecting the truth of your personal journey made me cry so much that I literally puked. Honestly, chunks sprayed from my lips onto my iPad screen as I witnessed you being your authentic self. I couldn’t stop. The emotions were so strong, my stomach went into spasms and it was as if my very soul was rejecting even the mere notion of anyone not being moved to tears by your message (actually hang on…were you on Sesame Street for a while a few years back? I’ve got a vague memory of you dressed as a bear…honestly, I’ll be able to place you at some point).

Towards the end of your video there was only bile left. As I wiped the smegma from between the keys of my iPad folio case, I felt as if I had been purged of all the negativity I have ever experienced in my life. It was like being a newborn. Your authenticity had literally (not literally) caused me to give birth to myself. Again. The sheer strength of your conviction towards coming out as a vague gender blob with no specific identity was a tonic to my spirit. Like a reverse enema.

Thank you Demi, from the bottom of my own authentic heart for all you have done for this scornful world we inhabit. I genuinely cannot tha- BARNEY! That’s it! YOU WERE IN BARNEY & FRIENDS!